How can you help toddlers develop empathy?

Introduction 

Empathy is the foundation of kindness, cooperation, and healthy relationships. It’s the ability to recognise how someone else feels and respond with care. Many parents are surprised to learn that empathy starts developing in the toddler years. By the age of two, children may comfort a crying sibling, offer a toy to a friend, or look worried when they see someone hurt. These early signs can be nurtured with simple, everyday strategies at home.

How toddlers learn empathy
The study suggests that developmental psychologists agree that empathy is not fixed; rather, it grows through interaction. Carolyn Zahn Waxler’s pioneering studies (1980s to 1990s) showed that toddlers as young as 18 months display “prosocial behaviour”, such as attempting to comfort others in distress.More recently, Stephanie Brownell (2013) found that toddlers’ empathy is shaped by conversations about feelings and by observing how parents respond to others. Longitudinal work by Denham et al. (2003) showed that preschool children who were better at identifying emotions were also more empathetic and experienced fewer social and behavioural problems later in life.
In short, toddlers develop empathy best when parents label feelings, model kindness, and create opportunities for caring behaviour.

Everyday strategies for parents
1. Talk about feelings daily
When your toddler sees someone upset, put it into words:
“He’s sad because he dropped his biscuit.”
This helps toddlers link emotions to situations. Over time, they learn that people feel differently depending on what happens to them.
2. Model caring and respect
Children learn empathy by watching others. Simple acts such as thanking a shop assistant, comforting a friend, or speaking kindly when you are frustrated provide everyday lessons. When parents show empathy, children often imitate it.
3. Encourage acts of helpfulness
Toddlers love to help. Invite them to pass a tissue, stir the cake mixture, or carry a toy to a friend. Research shows that when children practise small acts of helping, their sense of empathy grows stronger.
4. Use books and play as tools
Picture books with clear facial expressions or stories about friendships are perfect for starting conversations:
“How do you think the rabbit feels when he loses his toy?”
Role play with dolls or teddies also gives toddlers a safe space to explore emotions and practise caring responses.
5. Praise empathetic behaviour
Notice when your child shows kindness:
“It was thoughtful to share your block with your sister.”
Positive feedback encourages children to repeat caring behaviour.
6. Acknowledge their own feelings
Helping toddlers recognise their emotions makes it easier for them to understand others. Saying,
“I see you’re upset because your tower fell. That’s frustrating,”
teaches them that feelings are normal and manageable, and that others have them too.
The bigger picture
Nurturing empathy in toddlers does more than prevent squabbles. Strong empathy skills are linked to better friendships, stronger communication, and even academic success later in life. The best part is that you do not need elaborate activities or formal lessons. It is the everyday conversations, quiet modelling, and gentle encouragement that matter most.
Conclusion
Empathy is not something children are born with fully formed; it is a skill that grows when parents nurture it. By naming feelings, modelling kindness, encouraging helpfulness, and using stories and play, parents can help toddlers build the empathy that will serve them throughout their lives.

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Disclaimer: This article is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, educational, or childcare advice. Every child develops differently. Please consult a qualified professional with any specific concerns.